King Gavin Newsom has taken to the Twitters to declare himself and his dominion to be the greatest and most free. If you have eyes and ears, you probably know that this is the funniest joke the Gavtator has told yet.
Let’s talk about some of the huge wins for freedom that have come under King Gavin’s reign of terror.
- Covid Lockdowns: this was some draconian shit going on over there. Everyone remembers the videos of restaurant owners begging for their lives while King Gavin gave all sorts of special concessions to himself and his friends.
- Forced masking (ESPECIALLY Children)
- Closed schools
- Shuttered businesses while keeping his own open.
- Funnelled PPP funds into his own pocket
- Prisoners on Death Row collecting unemployment checks.
- Massive Unemployment fraud Statewide
- Banned singing in church
- Unconstitutional vaccine mandates and fired employees
- Filling skateparks with sand.
- Junkie Sanctuary: needles and balloons as far as the eye can see! Last count, a total of five former Twitter employees contracted Hep-C when stepping on used needles with boxes in hand on their way out of the office during the great purge. Two of those also stepped in human shit so it is unclear exactly how they contracted the Hep-C on that day that shall live in infamy.
- Three Consecutive years of more U-Hauls leaving the state than entering: That’s impressive.
- Extreme willingless to murder anyone’s unborn (and pay for it)
- Desire to traffic your child across state lines for gender transformation (and pay for it)
I could go on all night. The part about this declaration of King Gavin’s that makes me laugh is the absolute ratio he recieves in the replies. Read them if you want some laughs of your own.
-Guy